Well, some of the readers might have started laughing already reading the topic, (it was a good college time joke- nothing out of the world about it) but today's topic is not going to be humourous. Today, the author has decided to point out some ways of behaviour that are highly avoidable. There is a small set of manners and etiquette that one needs to follow to be nice. It is simple yet the majority doesn't adhere to it. Being nice is fun. Try it out and you will feel the difference in your life:
Simple ways to be Nice or rather nice ways to be simple:
1. If someone smiles at you don't ignore and go off as if you have not noticed - smile back it doesn't cost money.
2. If someone asks you "How are you?"don't just say 'ok/good/fine' and go away, care to ask the other person "How he/she is" (How often do we miss that?)
3. If someone is talking about something that doesn't interest you, at least try to listen for some time - 'things have different levels of importance in different people's lives' this statement is equally true for others as much as it is for you.
4. If you get a missed call/mail try getting back - replying to communication is a basic mannerism - sadly we are too busy to even read what others want to say.
5. Try to make someone happy - it isnt all that difficult, help someone out with directions, assist someone, listen to someone's stories patiently. Why always be in a hurry?
6. Most of the times we do things that we enjoy - sometimes, for a change, do things that others might enjoy - just to make someone happy.
Now to explain how all these things should work with a 'real life' example:
1. You get a link to my blog - don't feign as if you never got the link.. at least click it - it is free.
2. I write so much for you guyz- at least write a one liner comment. It is reciprocating.
3. Even if you don't like what I write try reading it. 'Things have different levels of importance in different people's lives' this statement is equally true for others as much as it is for you.'
4. If I send you the link of my blog, at least read it -and you don't want to publically comment on it send a personal note through chat.
5. Make me happy by regularly reading my blog and commenting.
6. I know you don't enjoy reading long posts - but I enjoy writing long , so for a change read my entire post - just to make me happy.
I am sure you got your lesson in manners and etiquette. So no more not reading "guide to life". Follow the guide to life and you shall be happy sooner or later!
About the title: I don't care whether the title is apt or not, should I?
Monday, February 15, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
From Fifteen Love to Thirty Love..
Well, the smart student of life would already have realized that the author, although seemingly alluding to tennis intends to lecture about love life. The smarter student would be wondering if the author has any legitimate authority to lecture on a topic where the author hardly has any experience. While the smartest student would be busy enjoying this wonderful Sunday with the wonderful company of his/her valentine (physical or telephonic or electronic).
This said, the author intends express author's feelings about the hallowed valentine's day from the times the author started understanding the meaning of valentines day. The readers here, must remember that the author understood the meaning of love even before he passed 2nd grade but the concept of valentine's day caught on pretty later.
At Fifteen love, the life had served an ace to the author and author was trying to see whether he could spot the ball. 'The serves of life, sometimes are so fast that the other player has no time even to spot the ball leave alone thinking about a return'. The author was , at that point thinking about fifteen all (or rather all fifteens). (If you donot understand what the author is talking about , you need to understand that there are some things that need further reading and some things that need re- reading. This is the latter. Read the stuff again and maybe you will be able to make some sense out of the words written here. But there maybe no sense at all as well so "choose wisely- live better" (guess the company whose tagline is this?)). Fifteen all did not happen and neither did sixteen love, seventeen love and with today the remote possibility of twenty-six love also comes to an end.
As the score now approaches thirty love and all other friends of the authors having "game-set-match" one by one, the match point seems coming closer. But this has got hardly anything to do with today's lecture.
Today we (read I) talk about Love and Valentines Day. Five ways to ensure that you have a happy valentine's day (if you are single):
1. DONOT send happy valentine's day message to your friends - it is a waste of your money, it doesn't make anyone happy- for those who are commited care a damn about your sms and and those who are single are reminded of their failure to get a valentine by your message. So you end up spending money without making any impact. In case if you want to make someone your valentine, then if it takes only an sms to convince that someone then think twice- why only you ? Why not someone else? It is better that you talk in such case. So SMS is a strict No no!
2. DONOT go to coffee shops, gift shops , restaurents etc. Reason - at such places you would either find couples or extremely frustrated singles - so unless you are also extremely frustrated don't go searching for your valentine at such places. If you could find your valentine at coffee shops these shops would have sold addresses and contacts not coffee!
3. Go to temple, offer prayers to the God! At temple you might end up finding some well cultured guy/girl who is away from all this show off stuff. And there's a high probability that the other person will also think the same about you - if not at least the God(ess) will shower his/her blessings on you.
4. DONOT build expectations! One day can change your life - surely! But why only this day?? If your life has to change due to arrival of some beautiful person in your life then why does it have to be only the 14th day of February? Remember this is just the day of expression - not necessarily the day of acceptance.
5. Send out the link of this blog to other single people like you. This will give you romantic browny points - something like romantic karma so that next valentines day you'd rather be with someone interesting than reading this blog for single people.
If you are not single and have read till this point - you are really a good person because you have shown committment towards completing the task that you have taken up - in this case reading the blog. I wish you a very happy and fulfilling romantic life! Enjoy!!
All singles - your day will come for sure - because if it isnt 15-love, 30-love or 40 love - It can surely be 30-15, 40-15 or 40-30 ;-).
Dedicated to my favourite author P.G. Wodehouse on his 35th death anniversary!
This said, the author intends express author's feelings about the hallowed valentine's day from the times the author started understanding the meaning of valentines day. The readers here, must remember that the author understood the meaning of love even before he passed 2nd grade but the concept of valentine's day caught on pretty later.
At Fifteen love, the life had served an ace to the author and author was trying to see whether he could spot the ball. 'The serves of life, sometimes are so fast that the other player has no time even to spot the ball leave alone thinking about a return'. The author was , at that point thinking about fifteen all (or rather all fifteens). (If you donot understand what the author is talking about , you need to understand that there are some things that need further reading and some things that need re- reading. This is the latter. Read the stuff again and maybe you will be able to make some sense out of the words written here. But there maybe no sense at all as well so "choose wisely- live better" (guess the company whose tagline is this?)). Fifteen all did not happen and neither did sixteen love, seventeen love and with today the remote possibility of twenty-six love also comes to an end.
As the score now approaches thirty love and all other friends of the authors having "game-set-match" one by one, the match point seems coming closer. But this has got hardly anything to do with today's lecture.
Today we (read I) talk about Love and Valentines Day. Five ways to ensure that you have a happy valentine's day (if you are single):
1. DONOT send happy valentine's day message to your friends - it is a waste of your money, it doesn't make anyone happy- for those who are commited care a damn about your sms and and those who are single are reminded of their failure to get a valentine by your message. So you end up spending money without making any impact. In case if you want to make someone your valentine, then if it takes only an sms to convince that someone then think twice- why only you ? Why not someone else? It is better that you talk in such case. So SMS is a strict No no!
2. DONOT go to coffee shops, gift shops , restaurents etc. Reason - at such places you would either find couples or extremely frustrated singles - so unless you are also extremely frustrated don't go searching for your valentine at such places. If you could find your valentine at coffee shops these shops would have sold addresses and contacts not coffee!
3. Go to temple, offer prayers to the God! At temple you might end up finding some well cultured guy/girl who is away from all this show off stuff. And there's a high probability that the other person will also think the same about you - if not at least the God(ess) will shower his/her blessings on you.
4. DONOT build expectations! One day can change your life - surely! But why only this day?? If your life has to change due to arrival of some beautiful person in your life then why does it have to be only the 14th day of February? Remember this is just the day of expression - not necessarily the day of acceptance.
5. Send out the link of this blog to other single people like you. This will give you romantic browny points - something like romantic karma so that next valentines day you'd rather be with someone interesting than reading this blog for single people.
If you are not single and have read till this point - you are really a good person because you have shown committment towards completing the task that you have taken up - in this case reading the blog. I wish you a very happy and fulfilling romantic life! Enjoy!!
All singles - your day will come for sure - because if it isnt 15-love, 30-love or 40 love - It can surely be 30-15, 40-15 or 40-30 ;-).
Dedicated to my favourite author P.G. Wodehouse on his 35th death anniversary!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Lesson 3: How to write a great speech
Now that you have learned how to attract attention of people through the first two lessons, the next thing is holding on to the attention. For this you need to be a good speaker and a good speaker can deliver great speeches. So the challenge is how to write a great speech.
3. Include some stories in your speech so that if people are not interested in your speech at least they will try to listen to the story. It is expected that the story has at least some relation with the message that is supposed to be conveyed through the speech yet you may always innovat e and tell absolutely unrelated story.
4. Always make it a point to criticize the system here in India. Everybody feels that (s)he is not as big a success because of the system or (s)he is a big success despite the system and hence people will readily agree. See you want most of your audience to agree with your point so try first state some obvious points that the audience will surely agree to and once they get into that habit of agreeing pass off your point - at least a few will fall for it.
5. Never miss the audience - talk about them, everyone wants to be talked about so does your audience. Praise the audience (even if it is insincere but be judicious!). Show faith in them - use expressions like "Nothing is impossible for audience like you, its just matter of resolve / you guyz are absolutely wonderful etc."
6. Always end with a question - if possible an interesting one so that the audience will be busy thinking about the answer of the question rather than the poor quality of your speech ( poor quality -thanks to these guidelines), see it is like after an aweful meal if you get a very nice ice cream or a dessert its taste keeps lingering in your mouth and you tend to overlook the aweful meal. e.g. "All said and done - at the end it all depends on the God's will (wish) just like - who will win this year's French open (which depends on the tennis God Roger Federer's wish :-))? (Smart speaker will use a more generic question(like wheather Katrina will marry Salman/whether Vidarbha will ever be a separte state?/Whether KGV's blog will ever become interesting and popular? etc.) instead of French open because not many people are interested in Tennis)
With these 6 points as the six stumps in the ground start your new innings in lecturing! May the force be with you!
Well, people have come up with books and what not but for you guys I will capture the essence of all that in just few , easy to remember rules:
1. While introducing your point beat around the bush. For example if you want to say that - I am here to ask you to read my blog - instead of saying it in plain simple way, Say - "Today as I stand in front of you, in this chilling January cold, with my hand on my keyboard (while the other is busy scratching my back), I am not just entering random words on the screen (that I do in my blog!), I am trying to attract your attention to something that has the power to change the way you think, you work, you perceive life and in fact this something can change your entire life and this is not some kind of a magic medicine that I am talking about. I am talking about my blog - "big daddy's guide to life". So I request each and every one of you to please take time out of your busy schedules and have a look at these sincere words which come straight from my heart."
2. Include thoughts/sentences of great people e.g. Winston Benjamin once famously said that "Whether or not you become great is a matter of chance but whether or not you want to become great is a matter of choice."
Now if you think that remembering lines of great people is a pain, first of all if it is a pain for you it is pain for others as well. So whatever lines and names you remember just say it. (Could you find out when I quoted Winston Benjamin that actually Winston Benjamin is a West Indies Fast Bowler and if you google the quoted line you'd get some results like Princess Bride etc.)
3. Include some stories in your speech so that if people are not interested in your speech at least they will try to listen to the story. It is expected that the story has at least some relation with the message that is supposed to be conveyed through the speech yet you may always innovat e and tell absolutely unrelated story.
4. Always make it a point to criticize the system here in India. Everybody feels that (s)he is not as big a success because of the system or (s)he is a big success despite the system and hence people will readily agree. See you want most of your audience to agree with your point so try first state some obvious points that the audience will surely agree to and once they get into that habit of agreeing pass off your point - at least a few will fall for it.
5. Never miss the audience - talk about them, everyone wants to be talked about so does your audience. Praise the audience (even if it is insincere but be judicious!). Show faith in them - use expressions like "Nothing is impossible for audience like you, its just matter of resolve / you guyz are absolutely wonderful etc."
6. Always end with a question - if possible an interesting one so that the audience will be busy thinking about the answer of the question rather than the poor quality of your speech ( poor quality -thanks to these guidelines), see it is like after an aweful meal if you get a very nice ice cream or a dessert its taste keeps lingering in your mouth and you tend to overlook the aweful meal. e.g. "All said and done - at the end it all depends on the God's will (wish) just like - who will win this year's French open (which depends on the tennis God Roger Federer's wish :-))? (Smart speaker will use a more generic question(like wheather Katrina will marry Salman/whether Vidarbha will ever be a separte state?/Whether KGV's blog will ever become interesting and popular? etc.) instead of French open because not many people are interested in Tennis)
With these 6 points as the six stumps in the ground start your new innings in lecturing! May the force be with you!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Now I Get Your Brother
Ever since I saw the first episode of "How I met your mother" I was very impressed with the character Barny Stinson except for his loose character (see my conventional old fashioned mindset, somehow doesn't approve of his one night stands and all). Robin also, I feel, needs to be a responsible and dignified 'one man woman' like Lilly. And if all the people are 'one man woman or a one woman man' then how can the story of How I met your mother unfold? Well to solve this problem, I decided to awaken the dormant script writer inside me and decided to change the plot and rewrite the entire series myself to make it fit for the Traditional Indian Viewers. So the New serial will be called as "Now I get your Brother"
Please read on for the new plot:
Lilly is Married to Marshall and has common friends Robin and Barney. Marshall and Ted are Brothers (Not Bros). Ted, Robin Marshall, Lilly and Barney are a group of close friends and then comes Alice (if you think "who the fuck is Alice?" then -
Oooo
we don't where she's living
or where she's gonna go,
we guess she's got a reason
and you'd get to know
that in the end she gets married
to Marshall's Ted Bro
She's Alice.. Alice..
She's the protagonist Alice)
Alice wants to marry Ted but Marshall won't let her marry Ted or even let her tell Ted that she loves him and wants to Marry him because Marshall wants Ted to Marry Robin. But over a period of time Ted, who is initially infatuated with Robin, gets to know that Robin is not his kind of a girl. While Robin falls in love with Barney who is too busy running around other girls trying to impress them. Robin being a shy girl, cannot express her love for Barney while Barney thinks that Robin is too hot to fall for him. So the "Barney-Robin" relationship although mutually agreeable doesnt get through. When Alice gets to know of this through her talks with inebriated Barney and Lilly (Lilly tells her about Robin's crush on Barney) she enters into a swap-bet with Marshall that she if she is successful in making Barny marry Robin (without ever telling either of them that the other loves him/her), Marshall will swap Alice for Robin and allow Alice to Marry Ted. Marshall agrees to this bet and tries his best to thwart efforts of Alice who is secretly helped by Lilly. By the way, Lilly is appointed as the swap-bet commissioner by Marshall and Alice. Ted in the meantime changes two professions and starts liking Alice but is told by Marshall that Alice already has a boyfriend. Ted being a gentleman doesn't want to step into Alice's relationship.
To see How exactly this maze of emotions and schemes is broken and how the drama unfolds.. keep reading this blog because Alice wins in the end and she says "Now I get your Brother".
Friday, January 22, 2010
Lesson 2 :Se*! , - It Works!!
Well Its time for the lesson 2 of Bigdaddy's guide to life. This lesson is regarding how to attract attention of general populace (please DONOT confuse general populace with girls, as the author himself still doesn't seem to know how to attract attention of girls yet.) towards your profiles,blogs, webpages etc. The gimmick written about here is an extremely cheap way of getting attention but interestingly seems to work most of the times, even in TV shows, movies or books.
Talk about sex! Have references to or double meaning dialogs hinting at the tabooed three letter word and you'll get a lot of attention! Lets take the case of this very blog.
After three posts and a lot of canvassing , the response to this blog could euphemistically be termed as lukewarm . So , while on my way to Mumbai, I thought about carrying out this experiment of having a vague title hinting at something different!
(Well, I was pretty much tempted to include a description worded "Travels and travails are sometimes necessary in human life as they engender some of the most wonderful thoughts in one's mind. While en route to Mumbai for his pre-joining Medical examination, a similar thing happened with this author. The author, whose mind, many a times suspected to be a devil's workshop because of its supposed emptiness, thought of a wonderful gimmick to increase the traffic on his blog" but then this thought actually occurred to me just now and hardly any reader will be interested in the motive, nature and outcome of my recent visit to Mumbai )
And lesson 2 was christened as "Se*, it works!"
I will be tempted to deduce that almost all of you who earlier chose not to visit my blog, came to this page because of the title of this blog. Many of the readers will tend to confuse the first word with a word that is like a taboo. Even I myself have been (and most probably would be) very sparing in usage of the word and honestly prefer to spell it with an * instead of x.
But here I haven't done so - for this * stands for an e and not for x.
I am tempted to check whether the then famous statement by a then budding (and still budding too) actress Neha Dhupia that only two things sell in Bollywood SRK and SE* applies to the world of blog.
Sex although a very important part of one's life, should, in my opinion, be confined to more intimate surroundings both for discussions as well as otherwise. Although there is a lot of interest in this topic both on the author's as well as readers' side, let this topic be not touched in this blog.
So I really hope that the Title "See! it works" is proved as a misleading title in letter and not in spirit (because it was meant to mislead you into reading this article).
Interested reader might be surprised to know about one of the proposed ways of de-tabooing the word sex - By introducing the usage of this word as the highest order superlative for all the adjectives with positive connotation - which was suggested to Modern English Grammatical Society, in which case the word could be used like good-better-best-sex, funny-funnier-funniest-sex or tall-taller-tallest-sex.
e.g. Today is one of the Sex days of my life!
Mount Everest is the Sex peak in the world etc.
Interested readers even if tempted to use this grammar in comments section are requested to avoid it as this grammar is only proposed and not accepted yet!
So the real Lesson 2 is - although double meaning stuff and sexual connotations tend to be effective, Big Daddy's pupils should try to avoid these unless in an intimate environment. Such discussions are best enjoyed when in company of close friends and not in public.
Notice: The author is busy in writing script of a new parody "Now I get your Brother" and hence there might be some delay in the release of the next lesson. Readers are advised to revise the first two lessons during that time!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Kartik calling Kartik
Well, ever since my childhood I had a keen interest in movies. Not exactly in watching movies but in acting. My research work on human behavior through prolonged verbal interactions with Indian males from across the country kept me busy and hence the Hindi film industry was robbed off another struggling actor. Yet I am a decent fan of good hindi movies.
One thing always used to rankle me - never ever did in a movie a hero, leave alone a hero any character had the name Kartik. (Technically that still remains to be the case) Finally some three four days back I saw this trailor of a new movie Karthik calling Karthik. As much as I got excited about watching the movie with Karthik as both hero and villain (I presume the other Karthik in the movie is a villain) the plot somehow seemed to have settled in my mind.
And I came up with this- a poetic conversation with kartik the bold blogger (on right below) and kartik the cold reader (on left above).
Kartik calling KartikDude KGV next time when you blog
remember people dont like to slog
such a ridiculously long post
someday even the websites wont host
I am not here to quench thirst
thirst for fame or thirst for name
I dont care even if you also blame
Why publish if people cann't read
why have a pet that you cann't feed?
Life is not all about success and greed
I blog because I like blogging in deed
You must have read my 'success mantras'
The post was popular like Nagpur Santras
When I tried reading the Lesson one
till the first few lines it was surely fun
then I woke up and started again
it felt as if it was duranto train
on and on.. with no signs of a stop
no new embarkers and same old cops
Duranto is fast it is better than the rest
If you have the patience its perhaps the best
are we talking about the blog or the train?
I dont mind anything lets talk about brain drain..
Dude you just waste time yours and mine
your literary success already died with NINE*
now if you want success with each of your post
write tiny little tidbits like a good blog host
Ten sentences per para and four paragraphs in all
use simple words n phrases; fontsize should be small
Nobody has the patience and no-one has any time
when epics are being shortened, long blog is a crime
I know those who love my style will always stick
whether I write nonsense or 'kartik calling kartik'
Your blog and your style, I just told you a trick
sweet short and powerful advices kartik calling -kartik
(*NINE - NINE is an acronym for NITIE IP NEWS EXCLUSIVE a moderately popular periodical published under the leadership of the author in his post graduate days. The author had to shut the periodical down as both his editorial team mates resigned after getting offers to work with a leading bank, and author by himself was hardly effective.)
It remains to be seen which Kartik ends up convincing the other one, but for the time being both the Kartiks are awaiting release of the movie "Karthik calling Karthik". Not because the name of the movie but to see 'Shonali Mukherjee - Deepika Padukone'.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Lesson 1: How to pretend to be successful!
Well, the author himself doesn't know how to be successful in life, had he known he would have been working towards it or would already have been successful by now, in either of the cases he probably won't have written this blog.
Now, why does one need to pretend to be successful? Well, even the author doesn't quite understand why but as they say, you are the perception that the world has of you (If nobody has already taken credit for this/such a quote, I shall like to take it). So people want to show to the world that they are successful , maybe they want the world to be jealous of them or whatever, but yes the fact is that it is in vogue to pretend that one is successful irrespective of the fact whether one actually is.
So, here come the easy to follow and extremely effective rules which will help you successfully pretend to be successful no matter how big a failure you think you are. The results may vary case by case but success or a perception of it is guaranteed:
1. If you are logged into a chat program, always keep your status as busy. If somebody pings, DONOT reply immediately, in fact don't reply 3 out of 4 times and whenever you do - use a lot of short forms, try to show the other person how jobless he is whereas you are so busy in your rocket science research. Try to make the other person feel guilty of having pinged you.
Please find a typical conversation between a successful person and a jobless fellow:
KGV (Jobless fellow) : Hey "Pretending to be a successful person (referred to as PTBSP henceforth)"
sent at 20:55 PM on Wednesday
KGV: You Thr?
sent at 21:25 PM on Wednesday
PTBSP: wht?
KGV: Where are you these days?
KGV: Long time no see... how is life?
PTBSP: ya dude.. had been busy last few weeks..
KGV: Do you still work with ARHPCFW? (Awesome Rocking High Paying Company with Fantastic Work)
sent at 22:05 PM on Wednesday
KGV: ??
sent at 22:25 PM on Wednesday
PTBSP: I left them... now I work with EMARHPC (Even More Awesome, Rocking , Higher Paying Company)
KGV: Kab se?
Chat has been disabled ... reconnecting in 29 sec
The fact of the matter most of the time will be that PTBSP will be busy watching some sitcom, chatting to unknown ,pretending to be female chatter, playing minesweeper or maybe even sleeping as you sincerely try to strike a good conversation. Yet PTBSP is successful in showi
ng off that how successful, busy and preoccupied he is while you are just a jobless jerk who keeps disturbing the successful people.
2. Whenever someone calls you up never answer the phone in two or three rings. Rejecting the call works even better. But the best way is to pick up the call then ask who it is (even if you have the number stored, this makes the caller feel even more unimportant and you more important.) and tell I'll call you back. Never call back in the next 3 hours. Never calling at all will make the other person think that you are too successful to be in touch which will reduce your overall success perception score!
3. While you are talking to the other person try your best to confuse or even misguide, the listener by using as much jargon as possible. Your motto should not be to express and communicate , it should rather be to impress and befuddle.
E.g. If you want to say that shares of telephone companies may fall as all the service providers are slashing tariffs , say with the ARPUs dwindling due to the intense price war like a pack of cards in a storm (Who cares if the simile is correct ! Remember you don't really need to communicate you just need to impress) I see the scrips of front line telcos tanking in the next series.
Warning!!
Don't use extremely high level language like - Pulchritude possesses purely cutaneous profundity. ( Beauty is only skin deep). This is because even if it is grammatically and otherwise correct people will fail to understand it and may brand it as "Gyan". It is an observed tendency to brand anything that one is not able to understand or finds high level as "Gyan" and "Gyan" is considered as good for nothing and a tool used by unsuccessful losers.
The challenge is to confuse people without completely blanking them out.
4. When in a conversation, never be a patient listener. If the other person is taking some time to come to the point, ask point blank - please come to the point fast. Remember a PTBSP is always short on time. If at all the other person is able to express his point, ask sarcastically is it over? And smile mockingly. This shows that you are very confident of your conversational abilities and the other person is not and the reason behind this is obviously your success!
5. Whenever you visit a place which is famous (definition : famous place is where people will want to go after seeing your photo, it is not necessary for the place to be well known. It is successful people like you who make the place famous) or picturesque (even if it isn't, remember you with your style and sunglasses make it picturesque), without fail click a photograph and post it on Orkut/Facebook/Twitter/Any other website where people get updates of your recent uploads. Mention the caption as "Rocking life / Enjoying to the fullest/ any other caption which will imply that I am successful and happy you bloody sucker you don't know how to live (which by the way is just like the intention of the author behind creating this blog :D)"
E.G.
The Rocking 2nd ODI Ind Vs Aus @ Nagpur
6. Always make it a point to offer advice to people especially with regards to their behaviour. Ask people to talk less or more or point out some mistakes in their pronunciation, or tell them how they can become more successful if they mend some of their ways of behaviour. The best time to do this is when people are down having faced slings and arrows of misfortune.
7. Always exaggerate when it comes to your achievements and question the authenticity of others'. Even if you pass a driving test conducted by your regional transport office before granting you a driving licence, proclaim that "RTO conquered in first attempt" or if your blood group is A+ve keep your gtalk message as "A+ yet again!" if someone asks which test , proudly tell blood test.
8. Use the seven rules mentioned above regularly without someone else coming to know of it and if someone finds it out and confronts you - say that "KGV is a big lukkha.. he doesn't have anything worthwhile to do, so he bloody rants on in his blog. I did not know that you are such a big loser that you actually read it. I will teach you how to be successful in life and tell him stories about hard work and perseverance. "
These 8 rules will help you pretend to be successful in life. But the author advices all the readers to someday give up these pretensions and firms believes that if you keep reading this blog regularly at least either the author or the reader will be successful.
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